Long Overdue Update

So I see it’s been well over 18 months since I posted something on this here bloggy thingy. What can I say, life happens and facebook is so much easier to quick post random things in my life.

Kitty update: We got to keep Papago. Imagine an all black version of Grumpy Cat…. that’s Papago, short legs, chubby round body, and 1 huge attitude (that totally disappears when he is in the bathroom getting lovies from Choppy). This makes 7 kitties in our home.

GI Joe retired. He’s been playing the VA game for 9+ months now. It’s a pain in the butt but it is a necessary evil. The VA says he’s 100% permanently disabled. Part of that disability is his back and resulting CRPS. The last year has been one of EXTREME pain for him. Nerve block injections are helping for now.

It has been kind of strange watching GI Joe go from full time HooAh to fulltime parent. At first he was upset about all the free time he had on his hands. Then he took on chores and cooking. NOW he tries daily to do what I did and he apologizes to me for not getting it all done. ~crazy look~ Took me a long time to figure out that it can’t all be done in one day. Prioritize the chores sweetie, PRIORITIZE!

TallBoy and his little family are still in Germany. They added a baby boy to the mix almost 18 months ago. Xman is an adorable critter with an infectious *snortle* laugh. Diva Rawrrrr Z is going to be 4 this year. Both kiddos run their poor momma ragged, just like kids are supposed to do.  Hopefully the AF let’s them come back stateside for good, SOON!

My oldest daughter M’ers has moved across the country to NJ. We’re hoping that lots of good things happen for her out there.

My youngest daughter J-Bird moved out on her own. We fostered her big goofy dog for awhile.

Hootie is still Hootie. Sarcastic as ever and being a tween makes it more fun.

I’m still doing my volunteer manager thing. I’m still resisting the frequent urge to throat punch stupid people. Been dealing with my mother and her hoarding issues (she’s getting much better) and clearing out the house. Still haven’t given myself the chopstick lobotomy.

If you haven’t found me on facebook I’m over here: https://www.facebook.com/ChopstickLobotomy

Life with a PTSD family member

The ‘New Normal’ is a phrase I loathe! When they come back from deployment they will be different, you will be different, the kids will be different… this is your ‘New Normal’. WTF? He came back and we weren't so different than when he left. Sure we were older but it was the same old routine going on. Yes I know we were different but it was subtle. What was not subtle, HE was different! Withdrawn, edgy, emotionally unavailable, unable/unwilling to participate with the family, not sleeping more than 3 hours… he even ate dinner in another room away from us. A trip to the store required lots of planning on my part (knowing exit locations, plotting non-busy hours, etc) and a shit load of coaxing and encouraging him it would be ok to go outside. Once there I felt like I was the recon guy, peering down aisles to see if there was anyone there – 2 or more people on the aisle and he’d FREAK OUT! Night terrors and sleepwalking meant I didn't sleep at all! Driving was a whole other nightmare for me with his constant shouting out to ‘watch that car’, ‘exit now’, ‘speed up faster, faster, FASTER!’ I still have trouble being the passenger when he drives – imagine the Le Mans car races, high speeds and abrupt lane changes all while 8 feet behind the car in front of us.

A year of medication and some crappy therapy did not help much. They verbally gave him ways to cope (once every 2 weeks) but did not take him into the world to actually teach him how to apply these techniques to everyday situations. Of course the family was NOT part of his treatment either, we were left to walk on eggshells and wonder what in the world we were supposed to be doing. The one time I did get to go with him the therapist questioned WHY I needed to know what was going on.

I have since learned how to effectively talk him down from anxiety attacks and to handle his night terrors by ‘pulling rank’ on him. He has learned how to shop in crowded stores without losing his mind and how to talk to Hootie like the 10 y/o boy he is. How to keep in control of his anger when the SOB in front of him truly needs an ass beating (at work and on the road).

So now almost 3 years after his return the biggest thing that triggers his PTSD is fireworks. This one will never go away. While everyone is getting ready for tonight's sparkles and BOOMS we are checking the list of items to keep him from hearing anything.

Ear plugs – CHECK

Headphones – CHECK

Techno Trance music – CHECK

Xbox moved to the most insulated room in the house – CHECK

He will play video games till the wee hours of the morning. I will be awake half the night listening for the BOOMS from the neighborhood jerks.

And just in case he does lose it I have his Battle Buddy's # and his Valium.

This is what I mean when I say ‘Freedom Isn't Free’?